A Very Random Harry Potter Fanfic
by General K-Star
Summary: THIS IS TOTALLY HILARIOUS! I wrote this because I was bored and it turned out really funny! Please R&R! Rated PG because someone shoots Snape. NEW RANDOM FANFIC ADDED! Harry and friends play a card game.
1. Fight! Fight! Fight!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything you may recognize from the Harry Potter books.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I was very bored. I just wanted to do something random and silly so I wrote this. The easiest way for me to write something short, random, and funny is to write in script format so that's why I wrote like that. What I did was actually write out who was going to speak by writing their names in random order (repeating every so often) and THEN I wrote the actual dialogue. Enjoy! Please review! I want to know what y'all think!  
  
And now, a very random Harry Potter fanfic that I wrote because I was bored.  
  
(All of this takes place on the Hogwarts grounds outside of the castle)  
  
HARRY: Why are we outside?  
  
RON: Because it was K-Star's idea to make the fanfic happen outside.  
  
HARRY: Who's K-Star?  
  
NEVILLE: The author.  
  
RON: Yeah, what he said.  
  
HARRY: Ok.  
  
RON: So what're we going to do?  
  
NEVILLE: I dunno.

HERMIONE: (approaches group) Whazzuuuup!

RON: Whazzuuuup!

HERMIONE: Nothin' much.

GINNY: (approaches group) Hi guys!

RON: Hey little sis!

NEVILLE: I'm bored.

HARRY: I'm Harry.

FRED: I'm George.

GEORGE: I'm Fred.

RON: Would you guys knock it off?

HERMIONE: I thought it was very funny.

GINNY: Me too.

NEVILLE: (turns to Fred and George) Uhh... which one of you is Fred?

HARRY: (points to the real Fred) He is.

NEVILLE: I thought he said he was George.

SNAPE: (walks by singing the theme song to "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood")

RON: What the bloody hell was that all about?

MALFOY: Oh look! Weasley's confused!

HARRY: Where'd you come from?

MALFOY: None of your beeswax, Potter.

HERMIONE: Just ignore him, Harry.

MALFOY: Oh look! The mudblood's here too!

HARRY, RON, FRED, GEORGE, GINNY, and NEVILLE: SHUT UP, MALFOY!!!!!

HERMIONE: I've had enough of this! (starts advancing on Malfoy)

HAGRID: (Holds Hermione back) Whaddya think yer doin', Hermione?

RON: Malfoy called her a mudblood again.

HERMIONE: I've had enough of his attitude!

HARRY: Haven't we all?

HAGRID: He called her a mudblood again? Hermione, kick his ass!

MALFOY: Oh, so you're gonna fight me now, huh?

HERMIONE: You bet I am!

HARRY: And I'm going to help!

MALFOY: Ooh, I'm so scared! Granger and Potter are going to beat me up! Yeah right!  
  
RON: I'm helping too!

HAGRID: And if you hurt Hermione at all, I'm going to whoop yer ass!

MALFOY: Bring it on, Granger!

HERMIONE: It's already been broughten!

McGONAGALL: Miss Granger!

HERMIONE: What?

McGONAGALL: What's gotten into you?

HERMIONE: I don't know!

HARRY: Malfoy called her a mudblood, Professor.

HAGRID: And now we're gonna kick his ass!

FRED: Yeah! There's gonna be a fight!

GEORGE: Go Hermione!

SNAPE: (walks by singing the Barney song)

RON: Could somebody PLEASE shoot him?

GINNY: (pulls out a gun and shoots Snape)

RON: Thank you.

FRED AND GEORGE: (singing) "Ginny's got a gun..."

MALFOY: So are you going to fight or not, Granger?

NEVILLE: I can't watch! (shuts eyes and curls up into the fetal position)

HERMIONE: That depends, are you ok fighting with a teacher around?

MALFOY: Uh, no.

McGONAGALL: Good choice, or I'd have to expel both of you and I know Miss Granger wouldn't want that to happen.  
  
HERMIONE: (mumbles) I wouldn't mind seeing Malfoy expelled...  
  
DUMBLEDORE: (sees Snape dead on the ground) Who shot Snape?

MALFOY: (Points to Ginny) She did!

DUMBLEDORE: Good job, Miss Weasley! I've been trying to get rid of him for years!

HERMIONE: Why didn't you just fire him?

DUMBLEDORE: Because he threatened to blackmail me if I did.

RON: What did you do?

DUMBLEDORE: That's none of your business. Now everyone go inside, it's getting late!

(Everyone goes inside.)

THE END!


	2. Playing BS

DISCLAIMER: Why would it be any different?

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This isn't really a sequel to the first random Harry Potter fanfic, I just wrote another one because I was bored and I decided to add it to the existing series so I didn't have to make a new story. But, since I had someone shoot Snape in the first one, he won't really be in any more random fanfics in this series just in case someone thinks that this really is a sequel. No, this is just another random Harry Potter fanfic that I wrote because I was bored.

Oh, and if you don't know the rules to BS, then here's a brief summary: Let's just say everyone gets cards and has to put down all cards of a certain kind that they have in their hand. If they don't have the cards, they can try to lie about it. That is called "BSing." "BS" is an abbreviation for a certain cuss word that starts with "bull." If they are caught lying then they must take all cards that have been placed. If someone wrongfully accuses another person, then the accuser must take all cards that have been placed. The first person to get rid of all their cards wins. If you're still a little confused, then read the fanfic and it may start to make some sense to you.  
  
(This random fanfic takes place in the Gryffindor common room.)

RON: I'm bored.  
  
HARRY: Why is it that all these random fanfics start out with someone saying they're bored?  
  
HERMIONE: I guess it's because the author can't think of anything at the moment.

NEVILLE: Yeah, it's kinda hard to start these things off really funny, it's gotta build up.

HARRY: I guess so.

HERMIONE: (pulls out a deck of regular cards) Anyone want to play BS?

RON: What's that?

HERMIONE: It's a muggle card game. (begins to explain the rules.)

HARRY: Hey, I think I've heard of that game before!

GINNY: It sounds like fun! Let's play!

NEVILLE: Yeah!

RON: I think I get it now.

NEVILLE: Who's gonna be the dealer?

GINNY: I think Hermione should. They're her cards and she's the only one here who's played this game before.  
  
HARRY: Yeah.

HERMIONE: Ok. (deals cards to everyone.)

RON: (puts down six cards) I have six aces.

HERMIONE: Oh you are SO BSing!

RON: Prove it!

HERMIONE: (turns over cards that Ron had just placed. She's right.) See?

RON: How did you know?

HERMIONE: We're only playing with one deck and there are only four suits so that means there are only four aces!  
  
RON: (takes cards.) Grr... why do you have to always know everything?

NEVILLE: Let's just keep playing, shall we?

HARRY: Yeah.

RON: Ok. I think it's your turn now Harry.

HARRY: Alright. (puts down cards) Three kings.

NEVILLE: BS!

HARRY: Prove it!

NEVILLE: (turns over cards and is wrong) Crap! I was so sure that you were BSing! (takes cards)  
  
SEAMUS: Hi guys!

DEAN: What are you doing?

RON: We're playing BS.

SEAMUS: Cool! I've heard of that game before!

HERMIONE: Do you want to play?

SEAMUS: Sure!

HERMIONE: We're in the middle of a game right now, so you two will have to wait.

SEAMUS: That's alright. It's fun to watch!

GINNY: Can we just keep playing?

HARRY: It's your turn, Ginny.

GINNY: Oh yeah! I forgot! Uh, let's see... (looks at cards) um, two jacks. (puts them down.)  
  
NEVILLE: Ok, I have two jacks as well. (puts cards down.)

HARRY: BS!

NEVILLE: Oh really? (turns over cards to show Harry that he wasn't lying.)

HARRY: What? (takes cards) But I have a jack as well and if Ginny put down two jacks and you did too, then...  
  
GINNY: I was the one who BS'd and no one caught me!  
  
RON: Ah ha! You admitted it! I'll call you on it right now!  
  
HERMIONE: You can't. You can only call it right after the person puts down their cards and Ginny's turn is already over so it's too late because Neville went.  
  
RON: This game sucks! Seamus, you can take my place, I quit!  
  
SEAMUS: (takes Ron's cards and sits down where Ron was sitting). Alright, whose turn is it?  
  
HERMIONE: It's my turn, then it's your turn.  
  
SEAMUS: Ok.  
  
HERMIONE: Four nines. (puts down cards)  
  
SEAMUS: BS!  
  
HERMIONE: See for yourself!  
  
SEAMUS: (turns over cards.) WHAT? How did that happen? (takes cards)  
  
HERMIONE: Well, let's see, I had four nines. Ta da! That's how it happened!  
  
SEAMUS: Shut up! (looks at cards) Ok, three queens. (puts down cards)  
  
HARRY: One queen. (puts down cards)  
  
GINNY: Two queens. (puts down cards)  
  
NEVILLE: Uh, does anyone else realize that there have supposedly been six queens put down and no one BS'd?  
  
SEAMUS: That's because I BS'd and no one called me on it and now it's too late.  
  
NEVILLE: Oh, well I have no queens so I'll pass.  
  
HERMIONE: I'll pass too.  
  
SEAMUS: I'm passing too.  
  
HARRY: Three queens. (puts down cards)  
  
HERMIONE: BS!  
  
HARRY: Wrong! (shows cards)  
  
HERMIONE: Crap! (takes cards) Ginny must've BS'd as well.  
  
GINNY: Yep! And now it's my turn and I'll pass.  
  
HERMIONE: You have to go. We need someone to set down cards because I just now had to take them all because I was wrong when I accused Harry.  
  
GINNY: Ok, two tens. (puts down cards)  
  
NEVILLE: BS!  
  
GINNY: Crap! How'd you know? (takes cards)  
  
NEVILLE: Because I have all four!  
  
HERMIONE: Why don't we continue this game tomorrow? It's getting late and I'm tired.  
  
HARRY: Ok. (turns all cards face down on table) We all should put our cards face down on the table so we can pick them up and keep playing tomorrow.  
  
GINNY: Ok! (puts cards down) Good thing tomorrow's Saturday!  
  
NEVILLE: Yeah! (puts cards down) Good night everybody!  
  
HERMIONE: Good night Neville. (turns to everyone else) Good night, everyone!  
  
HARRY, RON, GINNY, DEAN, AND SEAMUS: Good night Hermione! (Everyone goes to bed.)  
  
The end! I know this is boring but if anyone wants to see the rest of the game then please review and I'll upload part 2.


End file.
